…life from my perspective
Toe was in the Gucci store the other day and while purchasing this rather mediocre-looking Gucci “hobo” bag, she bumped into a guy from her past. Dude was in the store also shopping for a bag with his “baby mama.” He and Toe talked, happy to have seen each other for the first time in more than a decade. They caught up on each other’s past in about ten minutes, gave one another a farewell hug and then went on their way. She mentioned that the guy was still tall (there are a lot of short men walking the land these days) and physically fit. Then she hit me with that Pearl Harbor bomb: dude had been in jail for about 6 years and he had just been released. I thought to myself aw shit. My immediate response to Toe? “he gay.” I warned her that if she EVER saw THAT jigga again, give him the head nod, FROM ACROSS THE STREET, and KEEP IT MOVING. See my theory is this – if an unmarried man is in jail (fed joints, county lock ups or whatever) for MORE THAN 6 MONTHS he turnin’ tricks. Period. This is not astrophysics, neurology or scientology. This shit is the truth and y’all women need to take heed.
It is no surprise that our jails are OVERPOPULATED with black and brown men, MANY who are innocent of the crimes for which they’ve been committed. Most of them are not married so the issue of conjugal visits doesn’t even apply. So…..that means they have only TWO options for receiving sexual pleasure: to satisfy themselves or seek assistance from their cell mate. Again, if the man has a short stint, which I’m considering in this piece to be under 6mos, chances are he’ll please himself and what I speak of here is not an issue. Anything longer than that my dear ladies, we have a problem. Hear me on this: I understand the nature of human beings. Because of this I try not to judge others for decisions they make under duress or while in stressful situations. This is not a post about the morality of homosexuality nor am I gay bashing – I don’t get into that. This is about challenging women to be more aware of the eligible bachelors on the dating circuit and the pressing need to know your HIV status.
Before I move on please hear me loud and clear. I am not on the bandwagon to denigrate black men or de-value black women by shouting that we’re a group of diseased, lazy, no-good, two-timing, hypersexual, drug-crazed individuals; that is NOT what this blog post is about. At the same time the alarming rates of new and existing cases of HIV in our community alone cannot be ignored. Educating ourselves about HIV and AIDS, the proper use of protection and even the option of practicing abstinence is what I’m trying to convey. All I want to do is drop a dime because I was taught that it takes a village.
Back to the lecture at hand…Feel me – if you’re an openly gay man or woman I could care less because that’s your business and it has nothing to do with me. I’m speaking to the “heterosexual” men who hide having sex with other men and manipulate their girlfriends, wives and the general public into thinking that “occasionally having sex with other men is not gay.” BITCH? Where YOU live at? Are you kidding me? Really? Come on man. Merriam Webster’s definitions of gay and homosexual are listed below:
homosexual – 1: of, relating to, or characterized by a tendency to direct sexual desire toward another of the same sex. 2: of, relating to, or involving sexual intercourse between persons of the same sex
gay – 1: homosexual
So…according to Webster’s definition your ass is flaming gay. Beyond the comedic tone of the story, this is a very serious issue because male-male unprotected anal sexual contact is the primary way of contracting and transmitting HIV. That is NOT to say that an infected woman cannot pass it on to an un-infected man via unprotected sex because it can be transmitted that way too as well as through needle sharing and oral sex. The “KNOW YOUR STATUS” and “WRAP IT UP” campaigns are hitting hard nowadays because sexual promiscuity is on the rise and the practice of safe sex is on the decline.
Women – step your game up, tighten your frame up. If guys are serving one another while in “the joint” and they’re ENJOYING it REGARDLESS of the circumstances surrounding the act, I doubt that desire will disappear when they get out; gang rapes which are violations under subdued force are a notable exception here. I’m not judging my brothers that get into sexually pleasing one another when removed from society and placed in environments where they are locked up like caged animals and treated less than human beings. Where they are expected to behave normally and act civilly when their living conditions are less than sanitary and the food they’re served most pampered dogs wouldn’t touch. I can’t look down on a man for making decisions that are essential to his survival when every waking moment is a struggle, a fight to just stay alive. All I can do is carefully choose which situations I decide to become a part of then chop it up with and God ask him to bestow his mercy upon me.