…life from my perspective
“you are so dumb, you are really dumb – for real…” – Antoine Dodson
I hate dumb shit. Furthermore, I hate dumb people because they are the perpetrators of dumb shit. I keep telling my ACE that granted, his attacks on her character DO have something to do with her as they are an outgrowth of his anger and misplaced love, but at the end of the day, they are a reflection of HIS character and a true indication of the man he has become. I’ve broken it down several times before: his mood swings and reactionary behavior are closely linked to his drinking and the fact that he eats meat. NOTE: If this is the part of the post where you stop reading because you’ve been offended then go right ahead and check for me tomorrow; this kind of truth ain’t for everybody.
PLEASE!! BEFORE YOU START ROLLING YOUR EYES AND SNAPPING YOUR NECK – HEAR ME OUT ON THIS ONE!!! The old adage “you are what you eat” is more than a notion. A carnivore is an animal/mammal that eats flesh. As a human being when you consume dead animal flesh, you take in everything that animal ate when it was alive. So whatever parasites the animal took in, in addition to the toxins that were released when the animal was slaughtered under duress you now own them. Add to the equation the living conditions of animals raised on factory farms, injected with hormones and you have a recipe for disaster. Not to mention some of that shit stays with you, just hangin’ out in your system for upwards of 3 weeks. My point is this, YOUR DIET has an overwhelming influence on your mood and your emotional well being. Whether you’re a vegan eating soy burgers on white wonder bread, snacking on Twix bars and drinking Simply Limeade or a carnivore who eats McDonald’s 4xs a week, (THAT is another blog post for another day) the effect is the same. My ACE’s ex-love is out here on tweak mode because he’s not in the best emotional state which is obviously an outgrowth of his poor physical and mental health. What you feed your body is directly connected to what is being fed to the brain. This ain’t no quirky mad scientist theory. This shit is real. Take heed.
OK. Maybe that’s a PC explanation for why dude does what he does. But the way I see it he’s just an ass-(bleep)! Mad cause mama moved on, doing fine and holding her head high. Make no mistake about it. She’s my ACE and I ride with her all day long in public and twice on Sunday, but I know she contributed to her own chaos. It takes two to tango and dude ain’t pulling half of what he rants about out of thin air. I see it clearly with him as I’ve seen with so many other men – the issue of control. The aching desire, which for some borders on the obsessive, to control their women and the dynamics of their relationships. A man in control to me is not a bad thing. It’s actually a beautiful thing. A necessary thing. A thing that a man must possess and exercise otherwise the relationship will fail. Also be aware that control in the hands of an immature, vengeful, egomaniacal, emotionally disconnected, manipulative, abusive individual, man or woman, is the impetus for WW III. The thing that I’ve witnessed is men want control off general principle (GP). The attitude that I’m a man and I’m running this because I’m a man is pervading a lot of relationships and THAT couldn’t be more wrong than Jay Electronica signing with JZ and Roc Nation, but I digress. To me control, just as respect, is earned.
As a man you must grind to be a king – no one feasts for free. Once you grind for her love, take a few risks and sacrifice your own desires every once and a while to please her, she will treat you like royalty. It’s in a woman’s nature to submit. When she loves you, her desire is to serve and please you. She will trust you, honor you, respect you and follow your lead allowing you to control certain aspects of the relationship from your rightful place – as the man. NOTE: this will not work for EVERY MAN because some are fools and noone follows a fool. The same rule applies for loose women who are manipulative, deceitful and ignorant of their value. Grinding means responding to her calls and texts when she ain’t talking about shit because you realize all she’s doing is screaming for your attention. Grinding means celebrating the capitalist V-Day holiday buying teddy bears and renting rooms at the Sybaris FOR HER on YOUR DIME all in the name of quality time. Grinding means accompanying her on those family outings (bbqs, anniversary parties, weddings) when you’d rather be chilling in the stinky dude’s cave with your mans and them playing PSP and smoking reefers. Grinding means after a late night out with your homies you call her on the drive home so she knows you’re safe and that you went home alone. Hopefully you went home and not to ole girl’s house cause some of y’all dudes know you can pull it. Grinding means tonight you make her sexual pleasures a priority regardless of whether or not yours are fulfilled. Grinding means noticing she’s low on groceries or gas or needs the trash taken out or the light bulb replaced and you do it without question. Grinding means buying her a cashmere sweater or a LV Daimier Speedy 25 just because you think she would look good wearing them. Grinding means caring for her as you would yourself. If you ain’t grinding – you using that “man” term rather loosely my friend and you need to step your game up – tighten your frame up. And if you are one of those guys whose immediate response to what I just shared was “well what she doing for me?” then you don’t get it yet. But keep fuckin’ with me and you’ll learn soon enough.
I care dearly for my ACE as she is like a blood sister to me. I can’t see them coming down my eyes so I just write about her pain to make sense of it. She’s a silent warrior so I know she will emerge from this the victor but she will bear the battle scars. As I see it, dude ain’t gone be nothing more than what he is. The most she’s going to get is what he has to offer and she may not even get THAT if he on dummy. It’s a shame that she’s the recipient of his angry outbursts and disrespectful banter but that’s all he knows. If I were her I wouldn’t worry about it too much. God didn’t stop making men when he made him and removing herself from him makes way for the next one. Relationships are experiences and we all have something to give to and take away from each one we enter into. I tell her to sit back and anxiously anticipate what goodness she can extract from the next one because every man is not like her ex. I hope she’s filled with all the warmth, love and happiness her big heart can hold. I love you my dear friend. Until tomorrow my youngn’s….