…life from my perspective


images1. ho: interjection– used especially to attract attention to something specified (land ho)

2. ho – alteration of whore: noun, slang – (a) a woman who engages in sexual acts for money; a promiscuous or immoral woman (b) a male who engages in sexual acts for money (c) a venal or unscrupulous person

Clearly definition 2 will be most appropriate for today’s blog post. But before I get started, lets make one thing clear: balance is a guiding principle for almost everything I do so as we freely and without reckless abandon use the term ho, let us not forget we are referring to BOTH males AND females. I’m not into disrespecting or degrading anyone solely based on gender; what’s good for the goose is good for the gander. However, what I DON’T want is to have this blog evolve into a male-female relationship bashing, How to Make Him/Her Love You, 10 steps to Finding Mr./Mrs. Right, When You Two Are Wrong, The Perfect Orgasm, 100 Steps to the Altar type website; the virtual world and Barnes and Noble is OVERSATURATED with ENOUGH of THAT stuff already. And it’s all spitting straight malarkey as there is no step-by-step strategy that one can follow to ensure success in love. Keep in mind, failures are a part of the “success strategy” serving to bring you and your mate closer as you strengthen your bond with God, developing a deeper understanding of yourself. But I know there will be quite a few entries that speak to relationships because human interaction is what drives us and sustains us. And sharing my experiences with you will give you a bird’s eye view into what life is like in the ghetto and a second-hand account of the weirdos we have walking the streets of Chicago. Home of the Windy City Players..

I asked Toe, “where do you find them?” Some mark she met when we were painting the town with our beautiful colors hit her up and said he’d like to spend some time with her. See her. Sit down and talk with her. AT THE GAS STATION. I said to her “bish stop lying. I don’t have time for this foolishness.” And though it WAS foolishness and I didn’t have time, she wasn’t lying. Now ain’t nobody round here so bougie and conceited that we’re opposed to briefly meeting up with your mans and them at the McDonald’s or the Citgo if you ALREADY out and about and you’re checking for them. But to PLAN to meet up at the gas station to spend quality time like, I’m about to leave my house or I’m leaving work to MEET you at the BP is down right un-doable. UN-FUCKIN-DOABLE. I’d even agree to chopping it up with you at Harold’s on 87th (best chicken in the city HANDS DOWN) over fries and a juice before I allow THIS shit. Clearly geniuses think alike so Toe didn’t even dignify THIS request with a response. Now they’ve shared other conversations which caused Toe and I, early on, to declare this one a gone-er and since I’m not for putting all mama’s business in the street, safe to say, the gas station meet up proves my point. I say this loud: nobody’s perfect and Z will admit that contradiction is the middle name that she and I both answer to, but for him to even ask this speaks to a quality of woman that he has engaged long before meeting my friend.

Disrespecting the game means knowingly and willingly disregarding the rules of the dating game for personal gain or simply out of boredom. Squash what ya heard – there are rules. Now the more you engage a person, the more you start vibing with a person, you don’t adhere so rigidly to those rules anymore and this is OK. This is to be expected, encouraged even, especially when you start building with someone that you’re really feeling. But acting all thirsty, doing whatever to get whatever, fucks it up for the woman/man coming after you who follows the rules of the game and knows his/her role when playing. It leaves some of us to contend with dudes who want to take us out on dates… the damn Citgo.

Ladies and Gents, I already know. Love is hard and the world is comprised of mostly assholes. I get it. I promise you I do. But there must be a standard of behavior that governs our interactions when dating members of the opposite sex; there just has to be. Otherwise we’re out here feasting on crumbs and giving away million dollar treasures to those ill-equipped to nurture and care for them properly. Don’t get bent out of shape if you meet a moron. Just shelve the experience until its time to re-create your own Dave Chappelle moment; at least you got material. Dead cows. Dead birds. Dead fish. And now you wanna focus on deadbeats too? If I were you I wouldn’t worry about it. You will always find men and women who stay on dummy. And stop asking a hundred million questions about “why dudes this” and “how come these chicks that”. Your experience is YOUR experience and by no means reflects the actions of all men and women; no room for generalizations here. When it’s all said and done there is a higher force working on our behalf anyway. When you get in tune with it you’ll find all the stars aligned in your favor. You just gotta get your shit together first. Until tomorrow young’ns……


  1. KD
    June 23, 2011

    the last 2 paragraphs are definitely on point

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January 2011
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