…life from my perspective


This is a male-dominated society and women need to stay in their place.  A woman’s place with respect to a man is not front and center, toe-to-toe with her arms folded and her head half-cocked sideways.  When men with voices of reason speak women should listen.  And when I say listen I mean hearing with an understanding ear, a caring heart and a humble disposition.  I’m not here to wage war against women nor do I desire to earn brownie points by “siding” with the  men.  I am beginning to better understand the male-female relationship dynamic and the one obstacle that I believe  is preventing us from vibing like we should is communication. Love language.  The desire to be heard and the need to be understood.  Live without it and become the walking dead. Intentionally avoid it and exist in a perpetual state of loneliness and confusion.  Misinterpret it and choose to swallow the blue pill. (In the movie The Matrix the blue pill = wonderland; a fake reality.)

I don’t have ALL the answers – just most of them.  Given that, I don’t wish to be labeled a judgmental know-it-all who carries an aura of self-righteous haughtiness that impedes growth and progress.  What I WANT  TO DO is righteous deeds.  What I WANT TO BE is better tomorrow than I am today. What I WANT TO EXPLORE is people’s humanistic side because that’s where God lives and communicating with our God spirit elevates us to positions we never could have  imagined.  I get it now. My role isn’t to be combative but to be supportive.  My emotions aren’t to be de-valued but to be celebrated as they serve to create a loving and harmonious balance when the man and I are in sync.  My words need not be confrontational and accusatory but honest and endearing. Learning men’s love language is a  life-long lesson and the challenges we endure are designed to remedy defects in our character not make us slaves to conflict.  The beauty of a person’s evolution lies within their struggle and how one communicates their thoughts is a reflection of the person they WANT TO BE. An indication of where they want to go.  How are you speaking when you talk?

Women let TODAY be the day we exercise a bit more self-discipline than we did the day before. Let’s try very hard to think before we speak as we may find that it’s better to be happy than to be right. In such cases, mum’s the word.  Everything we think need not be said.  The changes we seek in our relationships come with time, patience and a commitment to changing ourselves for the better so our circumstances can improve.  Let’s revel in everything woman. Let’s play up our femininity. Let’s play the damsel in distress. Let’s stroke the male ego. Let’s speak a bit more softly using words that aren’t abrasive but complementary and seductive. Let’s listen more.  Let’s be more compassionate, considerate and affectionate. Let’s wear dresses and perfume more often and drink and smoke less frequently.  Let’s cook and serve and smile and hug. Let’s take care of our physical temples so our inner beauty can shine even brighter.  Let’s understand that being a lady is what it means to be part of a 2-person team that CANNOT WIN if the other is absent.   Let’s temper the truth with love.  Let’s just be good for goodness sake. Until tomorrow young’ns.

2 comments on “THIS IS A MAN’S WORLD…

  1. mellini
    February 21, 2011


    Our hearts, minds, souls, and sentiments are knitted together on this one. I PRAISE GOD for your fearless articulation of your thoughts on this topic–because as you may know, it’s not a popular view point–especially amongst us young “liberated” women.

    Just this afternoon, I was speaking with an 80 year-old woman who was sharing her mistakes, rebellion, struggles, and growth in this very area. The conclusion of the whole matter was–women don’t even know who they are with the quiet power of strength in humility that God created them to be!

    It took her to 60+ years of marriage (40+ of them in separation) to understand what it means to let a man be a man–and to take her place at his side as a woman after God’s heart. Unfortunately, it was on his death bed–but she was able to apologize and ask for forgiveness for all the years of trying to “wear the pants”!

    • nisavidan
      February 21, 2011

      WOW Mellini really?

      I understand everything I wrote and possess the overwhelming desire TO DO and BE just that but I have internal conflicts yet to be resolved. I also think a good man who can assist me in this effort will be the ice-cream on the cake. OOPS!! NO DAIRY!!

      It’s baby steps for me Mel and I admit it’s difficult to gauge if I am moving in the right direction. The feedback I receive from others is oftentimes how I measure my progress but I’m accepting that people can only give you what they have. I chop it up with God daily and ask him to help me in this.

      FYI – it means a LOT to me to know that I am knitted together with you. You are my shining example.

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