nisavidan

…life from my perspective

HE WIFE ‘EM


My boy told me by the time I returned home from London he will be married.  Given that he is single and according to him doesn’t have any prospects I asked, “how do you know?” and he responded, “because I said it, so it will be.  Whatever wishes you put into the universe you have to be confident will happen just as you ask for them.  The key is to be specific about what you want.” I was initially taken aback because I had no idea my boy could think like this.  I mean, I know he’s a pretty smart dude but he has this ghetto gutta side that overshadows his endearing, sensitive, spiritual, humanistic side.  And though I had the urge to initially dismiss what he was saying because he has commitment issues and enjoys dating multiple women at any given time since he “likes variety”, the more we talked the more I was convinced he was right.  I left our conversation with the thought that not only should you be specific when asking God to grant your blessings but you must also be CONSISTENTLY PROACTIVE in creating the reality you’ve asked God to bring about.  Later that evening, hours after our conversation ended, the controversial, combative, argumentative side of me started thinking and I said to myself, negro please. Dude on some bullshit.  Why did I flip it? Primarily because I over-analyze everything and read too much into stuff that isn’t there but mostly because I’ve heard that when a man is ready to get married then he gets married.  Period. I was told before that it doesn’t matter TOO much who the woman is and more than likely whomever the man is dating at the time he wants to be married will be the lucky consuela.  So all this gibberish my homey was talking could be a crock or he can actually be dating for a purpose,  setting his sights on snagging him a wife.  Knowing my boy though, he was talking a crock.

Not only are men different from women in terms of their views on marriage but NOTHING could separate us more than our views on sex and relationships.  My boy, same dude from above so take the following with a grain of salt, explained to me that sex for a guy could be looked at as a “release” while sex for women can be considered “a buildup”.  In other words, guys can actually be dating a girl they really care about but dip out and have sex with someone else SIMPLY to satisfy an urge.  You know, to enjoy the feeling of getting that itch scratched.  But a woman, on the other hand, usually has sex with a man for whom she has “built up” feelings for.  Or simply put, women have emotional ties to the guys they bed.  Of course there are exceptions to every rule but these are generalizations that I have heard hold true for as long as the dating game has been in session.  To add fuel to the fire, I chopped it up with 2 OTHER BROTHERS who actually CONFIRMED my boy story.  I was like what in the blankety blank?  They ALL confirmed that it’s possible for a guy to have sex with a woman HE DON’T EVEN LIKE! I was like WHAT?! For real? I mean for real.   Needless to say, after chopping it up with these 3 members of the male species, I decided to NOT focus my efforts on trying to figure out HOW MEN THINK. Nope…I’m not on that shit.  Instead I’ve focused my efforts on controlling MY thoughts and responses to people and situations.  To be quite honest, if I’m dating a guy I almost EXPECT him to have a sex partner if he and I are not sexually intimate.  This doesn’t upset me cause as I see it he ain’t sleeping with me so what have I got to lose?  I choose my battles and at the end of the day it will be HIS choice to decide whether I’m valuable enough for him to sacrifice satisfying his sexual urges with other women, not me.  And because I’m a realist, I understand that people are sexual beings and for me to believe that a man I’m exclusively dating is gonna go without sex though he and I agreed to not be sexually active with one another means I am delusional. Living in a fairy tale that I need to be rescued from.

In an effort to free my mind and exist in a perpetual state of peace, I can’t worry about who’s doing what with whom unless who and whom are he and I and we’re doing each other.  THEN and ONLY THEN does my perspective change and this song changes its tune.  Until then, I pride myself on being upfront and honest with the hopes that the guy I’m dating will the do the same.  They say you attract what you are, though I believe a part of you attracts what you need.  And while I don’t know for sure if this is a part of the Law of Attraction, and if it isn’t it needs to be, because only does what you need serve you properly.   I guess my boy was right in saying we should be specific about what we want. When you’re honest about what you want it means you’ve taken the time to examine yourself and you’re pretty sure about what you need.  I have to go and write my “want list” so I can give it to God.  Until tomorrow youngn’s.

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This entry was posted on July 19, 2011 by in Education, Introspection, Lifestyle, Love, Relationships, Winning and tagged , , .

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