…life from my perspective
I woke up last Wednesday with red, swollen puffy eyes. I always hate the morning after though the night before makes me feel so, so good. In the moment, the release I so desperately crave occurs and I never truly realize I need it until it happens. It was 2am and I lay in bed listening to Adele (21) and James Morrison (Songs for You, Truths for Me) and I just started crying. I cried and cried and cried and cried and cried until my tear ducts were dry. I was alone, afraid, filled with self-doubt, yearning for comfort, needing reassurance, longing for a loving touch, screaming for a tender kiss, listening closely for God’s voice but didn’t have a shoulder to lean on or anyone I could turn to, to dry my tears. But that’s exactly how it should’ve been. How I needed it to be. Because when I get there, I’ll be forced to manage such situations on my own in order to learn more about myself. To discover what I’m really capable of. Enthusiasm, anxiety, fear, excitement, loneliness, confusion, anticipation and a myriad of other emotions overwhelmed me all at once. After the much needed cry, I felt brand spankin’ new. Restored. Energized. Free. Confident. Fresh. Beautiful. Whole. Invincible. Sexy. Alive. So NOW I’m ready. A new world awaits me with open arms and it’s my duty to immerse myself in it. Time to raise the bar once again. These people ain’t even ready. Until tomorrow youngn’s.